So another year is done and dusted, down the gurgler, whatever you want to call it……so what happens now?? Well from what I hear, a lot of people wait until the 1^st of January every year to make one or many resolutions about how they are going to change for the better during the next twelve months……usually while extremely hung over. Now the problem with these resolution(s) is that pretty much all of them are completely unrealistic and unattainable for a twelve month time frame……resulting in the resolution maker feeling like a failure at some point. Turns out that I used to be one of those people…..so last year I took the first teeny tiny step towards abolishing this silly self-destructive habit – I didn’t make a resolution. For the first time ever I didn’t make a New Year’s resolution…..instead I decided to do something realistic for a change – I decided to start saying the word ‘NO’, well just a little more often than I usually do.

 

So this year, I’m going to go one step further and set a goal! Yes that’s right I said it…..an actual goal and I’m even going a step further by sharing it all with you – I am going to write a weekly blog in 2016. That’s right – a weekly blog – one every week, that’s 52 blogs for 2016! So there it is – out in the universe for everyone to see, read, hear, drink it in, throwaway or whatever but it’s out there now, out in the universe just floating around. Anyway yesterday I shared this goal with a good friend – so now I’m committed to it because she’s vowed to kick my rather luscious booty if I start to slacken at any time. So let this be the first of my 52 posts…..look out cyber world – brace yourself for the cerebral dribble that is heading your way over the next twelve months!

 

So this year I will be the big three zero – that’s right half way to sixty!! I’ve decided that 2016 is going to be the year that I finally pull my finger out and do a few things for myself that I’ve been putting off for a while now either because I feel a bit selfish, scared…..or just haven’t been arsed. So listen up world, this year I’m coming at ya – dreams and all. Why have I finally decided that this is the year that I unleash the real me upon the unsuspecting universe?! Maybe it’s because I’m becoming more mellow in my old age or that I’ve decided that I just shouldn’t really care what people think anymore……which to anyone that really knows me is HUGE! As I spend a rather large amount of time worrying about what I think people are judging me for…..still following me and all my craziness? So looks like I’m really going all out there this year and making not one but TWO goals! That’s right I said TWO goals for 2016 – HOLY MONKEY! I will actively try to stop worrying about what I think others are judging me for as what they think is not my problem, it’s theirs and theirs alone! BOOM –earth shattering and mind blowing stuff coming at you right there people.

 

For some reason over time we’ve changed January 1^st, from just a date to this enormously intimidating occasion by pilling on the added pressure of numerous resolutions. We tell ourselves that these resolutions are as realistic and achievable as walking down to the shops and we decide that they are so easy that we give ourselves even more pressure by adding deadlines to these resolutions. Now with most of these resolutions being a little unrealistic to start with, all this unnecessary pressure usually ends in an uncontrollable cascading torrent of emotions that can swallow you up if you let them. Sounds a little horrific doesn’t it??? So why oh why do we do it to ourselves? Why can’t we just be happy to have survived another year?? Why do we feel that we need to change or better ourselves every year? Is it for our benefit? Is it for the benefit of others? Or do we do it just because we think it’s what other people expected us to do? It sounds like a whole lot of crazy when you say it aloud doesn’t? All this extra pressure, setting yourself up to fail at either unachievable goals or achievable goals but set within unrealistic time frames….and for what? To give us just one more thing to obsess about over the next twelve months – like any of us need that awesomeness right?

 

So far I’ve shared with you the fact that I’ve set myself two goals this year. As some of you may have noticed, I have also decided to let you all into my world a little more by adding photos of my home and my life. This was a massive step for me – to let you into my little safety bubble…..to show me in all my ‘realness’……open and vulnerable, absolutely ripe for the judgement of others.  So why had I held back previously? It’s my blog – supposedly my ‘free’ and honest space. Well simply because I spent far too much time worrying about what I thought  other people were judging me for – taking on other people’s “stuff” even before it has become “stuff’. So how have I decided to combat my internal craziness you ask? I must have formulated some sort of tool or coping mechanism, in order to stop myself spontaneously combusting due to internal obsession and paranoia. I mean if it was just as easy as just not worrying about it anymore – surely I would have done it years ago! Surely no normal person wants to drag all that ridiculous sh*t around with them? Anyone who knows me can tell you that I am far from normal – in a word….I’m unique!

 

Another shock, I turned on the comment section of my blog which is something that I swore I wouldn’t ever do……See there’s that fear of judgement thing rearing its ugly head again…*sigh* I really should stop dragging that around everywhere – it’s exhausting! So now the comment section is turned on – why? Um well I guess I decided that most of my friends know that it’s actually me that’s writing this blog so why should I be afraid of their judgements? They’ve known me long enough to tolerate, interpret, accept and embrace me and all my weirdness. Plus when you think about it, there isn’t much point trying to judge my thoughts or actions…..they’re not really what you’d call predictable after all. In fact the thing that I most like and dislike about myself is just that – my unpredictability and impulsiveness.

 

So I’m bucking the trend of resolutions this year and shockingly (I know! I can’t believe it either) I’m dancing along to the beat of my very own drum! For me this year January 1^st came and went with no melt downs or major catastrophes = winner winner chicken dinner! 2016 has started with a big boot up the keester …..Let’s just see if I can keep the motivation rocking and rolling along.