Well it’s that time of year again – the big C. When the big jolly fellow in red comes all and spreads warm fuzzies and good cheer to all. It seems to be coming round faster and faster every year these days doesn’t it? Or maybe it’s just me getting older. When I was a kid, I remember hearing people say “Geez, Christmas has come around quick again hasn’t? Can’t believe it’s already been a year”……and thinking “are these people kidding me?!? What the *** could be longer than a year??” Well folks, I am now one of those people that think Christmas has come around again quickly and can’t believe a year has gone by already. Does this mean that I’m now officially a grown up? Hmmm…….maybe not…..Ah well from what I hear these days – being a grown up is mostly overrated anyways. So newsflash I’ve decided that I’m not going to grow up (well anymore anyways); I’m just going to get older and then eventually age backwards of course! Like the case of Benjamin Button but in reverse!

 

So anyway back to the magic of Christmas, especially the magic of an Aussie bush Christmas. Now if you’ve never been lucky enough to experience one – put it on your bucket list people! It’s totally unique, like a white Christmas (now that’s on my bucket list), but in the desert – so way way way hotter! Now what you ask makes an Aussie bush Christmas so special? Well here’s just a few off the top of my head; 1. Santa comes and visits you personally at your house! No, I don’t just mean on Christmas eve, while your all tucked up in bed snoring away. Thanks to good old Australia Post and whichever company is currently operating the Birdsville and Innamincka Tracks mail service – Santa arrives with the mail, by aeroplane, usually a week or two before Christmas. He brings individual presents for all the station kids, bottles of yummy wine for the parents and spreads his good cheer all about the place. It’s exciting and a little bit weird to now be sharing this experience with my little budda, especially as it really doesn’t seem very long ago that I was standing at the air strip waiting for Santa to arrive.
2. The heat.…and oh boy does it get hot! This year it was a lovely and crispy 44 degrees just around the time we were sitting down for our hot Christmas food extravaganza! It seemed to take forever to cool down this year; it was still a nice warm 34 degrees at 9:30pm! 3. Out here giving someone a carton of beer as a Christmas present will totally make their day, especially if it’s a cold one. 4. You never get uninvited guests crashing throwing off your grove. 4. The neighbours (our closest neighbour is 50km away) never complain about the noise level or how drunk you get! 5. A midday siesta is pretty much expected due to the heat. 6. A gigantic water fight, slip and slide and/or swimming of some sort is ALWAYS a given.

 

I must admit that I’m a complete and total Christmas tragic (which I inherited from my dear mother). In fact the only reason my house doesn’t look like the North Pole exploded inside it and smothering every inch of its exterior in fairy lights – is my extremely anorexic bank balance. In fact if I won the lottery tomorrow, I’d probably blow half of it on Christmas decorations (unless my BFG intervened quickly). In all seriousness though how amazing are fairy lights?? I loooooove fairy lights – gah! I mean I love fairy lights the way little kids love bubbles and peekaboo……some of you I’m sure are reading this scoffing right now, but what can I say – I’m really just a big kid.

 

Christmas has always been a little bittersweet in our house, my dad passed away when I was 7, but somehow mum always managed to make our Christmases magical. Our house was always (and still is) decorated, filled with delicious mouth-watering smells and Aussie themed carols blaring. My mums Christmas lunches were, and still to this day are, legendary. She goes all out and puts on the full spread – roast chicken, turkey and pork with crackling, leg ham, prawns, oysters, an array of salads and then when your just about to burst, out comes the dessert round – pavlova, trifle, rum balls, fruit platters and homemade brandy Christmas pudding (curtesy of my nanna)……all while it’s over 40 degrees! Then of course there is the drinks – usually some sort of punch or frozen cocktails, beers and some damn good bubbly! However the best thing about my mums Christmas food extravaganza is that nobody needs to cook for at least a couple of days afterwards – excellent for those of us sporting some pretty spectacular boxing day hangovers.

 

I’ve got lots of great Christmas memories stored from over the years, so in the spirit of Christmas sharing, here are a couple of my favourites. One year when we went interstate to visit family for Christmas, my mum and aunty wrote on all 7 of us (my brothers, cousins and myself) – just silly things like “Ho Ho Ho!”, “Santa was here”, “Merry Christmas”. It was so exciting! It backfired a little though, as my youngest brother didn’t shower for about 3 days……as he didn’t want his personal Santa message to rub off! Another time she borrowed some work boots and stomped around the house in them through a trail of snow aka baby powder – I remember how ridiculously excited the three of us were to find those footprints! Possibly one of my favourites involves the age old Christmas debate – fake tree vs real tree. Well before my dad passed away, we used to drive around and bring home a real tree, and living where we live it was usually a wattle tree or coolabah (eucalyptus) tree. Well one year, there was a raging debate amongst my younger brother (let’s call him brother 1 or B1) and I, over which type of tree we should bring back on the Toyota. I can’t remember which of us wanted what tree or even what tree we did eventually bring home, but what I do remember is how beautiful the tree we eventually picked was. It was perfect – nice and bushy (lots of decorating room), masses of pale green leaves, evenly spaced branches/sub branches (perfect for hanging ornaments) and most importantly a strong straight trunk. Well as it turns out, we weren’t the only ones who thought they’d found the prefect tree……so did the 50 trillion small ants that invaded our lounge room and infiltrated every crevice within every beautifully wrapped present under the tree! Poor mum thought she’d finally gotten rid of that awful acid ant smell……and then when we excitedly opened everything after Santa came…..then BAM! There it was again – like a smack in the face and little black dead ant bodies mashed into the carpet everywhere.

 

This year it was my little buddas second Christmas, which was a little exciting for my BFG and me (in fact the entire family) as this was the first time he really had any idea about what the heck was going on. When it came to present opening time – it was just a paper tearing frenzy!
Even now I have absolutely no idea who I received some of my presents from. Sadly I think it might have been the last Christmas that I’ll get to sleep in for until he’s about 30….GAH! Holy crap how old will I be by then???……It’s best just not to think about that……EVER!

 

Anyways we had a very quiet Christmas this year, as far as Christmases in my family goes. It was a little strange but I must admit it was exactly what I wanted – so well done Santa. This year, the week before Christmas, we were on of the lucky few, who got one of the most exciting presents that Santa could have given out – RAIN! All up we ended up with 32ml of liquid gold and there are literally no words to describe that wonderful smell that comes just before the rain does. I think it’s the most beautiful smell in the world, I wish that it could be bottled as perfume so I could literally bathe in it. To me, it’s the most relaxing smell in the entire universe. One little sniff and a little patch of excitement starts to claw its way across your belly growing bigger and bigger, because you know what’s coming but you don’t say it aloud just in case you scare it away……the first drops start to fall and a silent wave of relief washes over everything.

 

This time however, I didn’t feel relieved (I know I should be beaten with a stick for that) but I didn’t. Instead I felt what I’d almost describe as agitated, stupid I know TRUST ME I know! I know now what the reason for my agitation was and it seems silly, completely childish and even a little bit selfish. All I could think about was that my mum wouldn’t make it back in time for Christmas due to the rain (and road closures). I should have been just thankful for the unexpected rain, especially as there are so many others out there doing it tough and praying for rain every day. So then I felt a little, no I felt a lot guilty! How could I be so silly? I spoke to mum about being worried she wouldn’t make it home and she got angry. Not because she didn’t want to be here but because I should have been thankful for the rain and besides the 25^th is just a date – we could celebrate Christmas whenever she arrived. I know she was right but why was I so caught up on the fact that she might not have been able to get here? After nearly 30 years do I still just need my mum for some things, or am I just a selfish toad? Sometimes I’m a little of both……I know I have to grow up and deal with the fact that one day my mum will just not be able to make it – even if we haven’t had any rain……to me that’s a little bit sad and to be honest a large bit scary as hell. Hopefully I won’t have to contemplate that reality any time soon. So until then, I’ll still look forward to having the annual Christmas food extravaganza and not having to cook for a couple of days.

Luckily the roads dried out quickly and she made here on the afternoon of the 23^rd December. As she was coming through the boundary gate, you could hear the familiar Aussie Christmas carols blaring over the uhf radio and a smile spread across my face like a mad man. It finally felt like Christmas! I know this will sound as corny as hell, but when my mum pulled up in the shade of the new shed fully loaded with Christmas goodies, a silent wave of relief washed over me.